okay if you can’t fuck with a person because of:
- pubic hair
- stretch marks
- any other natural occurrence of the human form
you aren’t really worthy of it anyway
I’m sorry if you thought that a movie featuring a talking willow tree was going to be historically accurate.
did you know that it’s possible for films to contain elements of fantasy, and also be historically accurate and respectful of the actual historical figures and stories they’re meant to represent at the same time?
did you know that it was disney’s choice to make a historically inaccurate adaptation of a true story, including a talking willow tree in the process, when they could have just left the story alone so that people could learn about what pocahontas and native people were really like and what she and they really lived through, instead of creating a movie that people would perceive as merely a disneyfied version of the truth, so that they could try to defend disney’s racism by saying audiences should not expect any degree of historical accuracy even though the story comes from history to begin with
Apparently you can’t expect historical accuracy from movies with talking trees but you sure as shit can with movies featuring talking snowmen.
those people who insult you and then act like the victim when you say something about it
"WOW OMG I WAS JUST KIDDING JESUS Y CANT U JUST TAKE A JOKE GOD GET OVER IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL OMFG WOW I DID NOTHING WRONG"
*throws rocks at your window*
text me back dammit
Broadway Showtunes That Probably Shouldn’t Have Dance Remixes, But Do Anyway
1. On My Own 2. Everything’s Coming Up Roses 3. Easy As Life 4. Seasons of Love 5. The Ballad of Sweeney Todd 6. Don’t Cry for Me Argentina 7. Hey Big Spender 8. Phantom of the Opera 9. One Night in Bangkok 10. Defying Gravity 11. Do-Re-Mi 12. Joseph Megamix 13. And I Am Telling You 14. I Am What I Am
that is our building
and we sell paper
i was such a mess during this scene i actually cried so hard
yo i forget how important the office was to me
Something strange is going on. Animals are looking at you sideways. Things fall off desks when you walk by. You have a sudden hankering for red meat, and you wake up with muddy feet. Did you recently have a birthday? We bet all this funny business started right after that.
Look in the mirror: Do you have green eyes? If not, does your crush? While less than 2% of the population has green eyes, independent studies have revealed that 90% of them are currently living in a YA novel.
You have next to no adult supervision in your life.Whether your adult guardian (there’s probably only one) is missing, working long hours, off fighting werewolves, or just plain clueless, you’re left to your own devices most of the time. This leaves you free to do activities including but not limited to marrying a ghost, overthrowing a postapocalyptic government, and driving a pickup truck while texting, clutching a giant iced coffee, and thinking soulfully about souls.
Within the past few weeks, two hot, adoring guys have come into your life.If one is a dark-haired bad boy and the other a mischievous yet trustworthy blond, just accept that you’re living in a YA novel now, and cross your fingers it’s a series.
You or someone you know is named Cam, Cameron, or Cammie. Also watch out for names that can be shortened to Kat.
Your world’s looking a little bit…whitewashed.And if you do know someone of color, they likely have skin that one might compare to a cafe au lait, mocha, or other beverage currently sold at Starbucks. (Note: If people are looking even whiter than usual, you may be living in a YA novel about vampires. Or zombies. I’m sorry.)
You have an archnemesis. We hate to break it to you, but most people don’t have to deal with someone who is single-mindedly devoted to ruining their life. This goes double if you were inadvertently responsible for your archnemesis becoming a mutant/losing control of their space colony/falling out of their dress at prom.
You just found out you’re descended from a race of creatures that has something to do with souls. Or angels, or demons, or vampires, or seeking, or protecting, or vengeance, or gods. If your family photo album is actually a skin-bound Necronomicon you found in a cave, you’re probably living in a YA novel.
Your friends keep saying things like, “Either I send him south in handcuffs or in a Chicago overcoat.” Wait a minute…you might actually be living in a noir. Lucky!
- my sister: oh my god
- me: what?
- my sister: i just realized something
- me: ?
- my sister: gaston is a nice guy.
- me: ...? um, no, sorry, he's an asshole.
- my sister: no, no, no, gaston is a 'nice guy'. think about it. he spends the whole beginning of the movie trying to be friendly to belle. everyone else in that town thinks she's a bookish freak with a crazy man for a father, but gaston like, talks to her and sort of tries to take an interest in her activities and compliments her and stuff with the complete 100% expectation that she's going to pay him back by being in a relationship with him. he tunes out what she actually says because he doesn't really think of her as a person, just a pretty trophy who should react to him the right way if he does the right things.
- me: huh
- my sister: and then when she hooks up with someone else, he gets all angry and shouty and insists that this other guy is a monster and she's lost her damn mind because she was supposed to fall for HIM, not someone else, and then he goes and stirs up the townsfolk into an angry mob and turns the whole thing into a witch hunt over his wounded pride.
- me: O_O
- my sister: gaston is a nice guy.